Day 2: I already almost forgot...

So what have I in fact learned today?  It doesn't feel like much.  I'm already exhausted from the week.  (Spring Break: 9 school days and counting!)  I've done a lot today. 

Rhiannon's sick again, which makes me really sad.  The poor girl can't catch a break! And she's so weak and feeble when she's ill.  Oh, my dear, if only you knew how badly I want to make you better!

So what exactly is it that God wants me paying attention to today?  I'm really uncertain.  The most memorable part of my day is getting to go out with Sarah and Asia.  I love my friends.  I love dinner with my friends because we get to talk and laugh and pick on each other and embarras each other (although I think I do most of the embarrassing for us all) and it is wonderful.  I am a little sad that I'm not pregnant with them.  I don't really want to be pregnant, even if life were stable and everything was how it should be.  But I do miss the experience of getting to have a baby that I'm excited about and talking about it with my two best friends, and taking pregnancy pictures, and talking about baby names, and all of the fun stuff that comes with pregnancy that I did pretty much solo (except with Drake) because I was fairly isolated from them when pregnant in the past.  I feel like many of the choices I've made have made it so that I enjoy each stage of life less because it is harder than it had to be.  I've cheated myself out of many experiences.  Maybe that's what I need to learn today--this path that I'm on is just fine.  God has plenty in store for me, and my job is to love and appreciate what I have.  I envy a lot.  Envy isn't healthy.

So, Jesus, in my quest for your plan for me, one thing I must do is let go of the past and make better choices (God-centered choices) in the future so that you can lead me on the path you want me.  I want to get there the easy way, rather than through all the briars and brambles and such.  But what I have, the result of my struggles, is beautiful, and I can't forget that in the longing for the past to be different.  Meanwhile, I wish my beautiful friends the best of luck, and I hope you know that I'm here for you for whatever you need!  And Asia, I was never planning on leaving before your baby is born!  Just right afterward.  Because let's face it, being excited about a new baby is easy.  Making dinners for you and your family and helping you out with an infant--that's Sarah's job. ;) (I'm kidding--in case the pregnancy hormones make you believe me...)